While it can certainly appear and feel overwhelming to balance life, work, and caregiving responsibilities for a family caregiver; with planning, patience and allowing yourself grace on difficult days, it most certainly can be done. Here are a few tips from CAB Care Manager, Katrina Kepf, on how to navigate this challenging journey.
How Family Caregivers can Balance Work and Life
Take care of yourself
Have you ever been on a flight and heard the airline attendant provide instructions should an emergency arise? You are told to apply the oxygen mask to yourself first, and to then to assist another. In caregiving, you must take care of yourself before you can care for others for an extended period of time.
Women often portray themselves as superheroes in the caregiving role. They model their mothers and care for their younger siblings. As mothers themselves, they care for their babies and growing families. As adults, they care for their aging parents or spouse. Sometimes self care may nearly feel sinful.
But the reality is, you must maintain your own mental and physical health and well- being to give the best of yourself to others. This can be achieved by maintaining a healthy diet, exercising on a regular basis, getting enough downtime / rest / sleep, and engaging in activities that you enjoy. Don't forget to attend your own medical appointments! Your health must be a priority.
Set a schedule and create a routine
It is often easier to complete tasks and manage your time when you have a routine or a schedule to follow. Look at your week, plan activities and outings, allow extra time for medical appointments, and make sure that you schedule in time for yourself.
If you are a caregiver for someone that looks ahead and makes excuses to avoid participating in activities, or that becomes hyper focused and worries over upcoming events or appointments, it may be a good idea to keep two separate schedules or calendars. Sometimes it is easier for certain activities to be "spontaneous", like showers or Dr. appointments, so that you can plan accordingly.
Here are a few ideas that are time savers, which you may wish to explore:
Contact your pharmacy to receive pre-packaged medications so you will not have to spend time sorting meds into a med box.
House keeping service - Can you afford a weekly or bi-weekly service?
Purchase pre-made meals to serve several times a week or enlist someone to assist in meal planning. Lasagna, meatloaf, pancakes, casseroles and soups are all great meal ideas that can be prepared in bulk, divided and frozen to enjoy later.
Enlist the engagement of friends, family congregation to provide visits for companionship each day.
These regular drop-in visits can provide your loved one with a regular daily check-in and provide you with some relief from concern and anxiety, knowing that they are being checked on during the day. You may also consider installing cameras in select areas in the home so you can check in and monitor the safety and well-being of your loved one, while you are away from home.
Set up accounts through Caring Bridge or Care Calendar to enlist the help of volunteers and a care team to help provide the needs that you have.
These volunteers can help to lessen the load and help you prevent burn out. Some of these volunteers may love to cook, have the skills to cut hair, would like to provide transportation to appointments or even provide pet care services and house-keeping needs. Remember, we all want to be valued and feel important. When asking for help, you may be helping someone else fulfill their own specific needs.
Ask for help
Helping others, outside of a caregiving role, is known to reduce depression, provides a sense of purpose, accomplishment and fulfillment and even makes those that can offer assistance feel valued and important. It brings us joy to know that we are making a difference, that we have the ability to make someone's life better. Ask and allow others to help, let them have the opportunity of experiencing the joy of giving.
However, sometimes there are simply not enough hours in the day to do all that we need to accomplish. Set your priorities and trust others enough to delegate tasks to. Consider increasing paid caregiving hours through your local chosen agency. Inquire what additional services that they may be able to provide, which you may be unaware of such as respite care, housekeeping and transportation to appointments.
Get support from others
Connecting with others, helps to lessen the feelings of isolation. Support comes in many forms. Perhaps it's a weekly coffee date with a friend, maybe it is through attending a community support group, or possibly it is achieved by meeting with a therapist or medical professional. Either one of these can allow you to talk about your personal feelings. It is helpful to connect with others that are experiencing similar circumstances and to learn from knowledge that you each have to share. Often it is difficult to get away, so look online for a group that you can attend virtually, if you are unable to attend in person. Building connections and friendships can often times make a difficult journey easier to endure.
Seek community resources
Many communities or churches offer day programs.
Contact medical professionals for community resources.
Inquire and request information at your local: National Institute of Aging, the CDC, the National Alliance on Caregiving, AARP, and U.S. Administration on Aging. These are all resources for caregivers.
Speak to your pharmacy about pre-filled medication packages.
Speak with your employer
Be honest and have an open dialogue about options to maintain your employment status while adapting to your new caregiving status. Are there accommodations that can be made to your schedule? Flex time? Remote work? What is the policy for family medical leave act within your company? Check the balance for your paid time off.
Balancing caregiving, work, and personal life is undeniably challenging, but with support, self-care, and organization, it can be manageable. Remember, asking for help, establishing routines, and utilizing available resources can make a significant difference. Caregiving is a journey that requires resilience and compassion, not only for your loved one but also for yourself. Taking small, intentional steps each day will help create a sustainable balance, allowing you to be present for both your family and yourself.
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